A publisher in New York asked me to write down what I know about the Greek gods, and I was like, Can we do this anonymously? Because I don't need the Olympians mad at me again. But if it helps you to know your Greek gods, and survive an encounter with them if they ever show up in your face, then I guess writing all this down will be my good deed for the week.
So begins Percy Jackson's Greek Gods, in which the son of Poseidon adds his own magic--and sarcastic asides--to the classics. He explains how the world was created, then gives readers his personal take on a who's who of ancients, from Apollo to Zeus. Percy does not hold back. "If you like horror shows, blood baths, lying, stealing, backstabbing, and cannibalism, then read on, because it definitely was a Golden Age for all that."
POSEIDON GETS SALTY
But if you’re going to have a Greek god for a parent you couldn’t do better than Poseidon. Sure, I’ve had my problems with him. He’s not the most attentive dad. But, hey, none of the Greek gods is.
At least Poseidon has awesome powers and a laid-back attitude (most of the time).
He’s amazingly cool, considering how hard it was for him as a young god. He was the middle boy. He was always being compared to his brothers, like, Wow, you’re almost as handsome as Zeus! You’re almost as powerful as Zeus! Or sometimes, You’re not as much of a loser as Hades!
That can really grate on a guy after a few centuries.
Back when Zeus, Poseidon and Hades threw dice to divide up the world, Poseidon got the second-best roll. He had to accept his brother Zeus’s becoming lord of the universe and telling him what to do for all eternity, but Poseidon didn’t complain. He’d won the sea. That was fine with him. He liked the beach. He liked swimming. He liked seafood.
True, Poseidon wasn’t as flashy or powerful as Zeus. He didn’t have lightning bolts, which were like the nuclear arsenal of Mount Olympus. But Poseidon did have his magical trident. He could stir up hurricanes, summon tidal waves and make a mean smoothie. Since the seas wrapped around the earth, -Poseidon could also cause earthquakes. If he was in a bad mood, he could level whole cities or make islands sink beneath the waves.
The Greeks called him the Earthshaker, and they went to a lot of trouble to keep him happy, because no matter whether you were on land or at sea you didn’t want Poseidon mad at you.
Fortunately, Poseidon was usually calm. His mood reflected the Mediterranean Sea, where he lived, and most of the time the Mediterranean was smooth sailing. Poseidon would let the ships travel where they wanted. He’d bless fishermen with good catches. He’d chill on the beach, sip his umbrella drink from a coconut shell and not sweat the small stuff.
On nice days, Poseidon would ride his golden chariot across the waves, pulled by a team of white hippocampi, which were horses with golden manes, bronze hooves and fish tails. Everywhere he went, the sea creatures would come out to play around his chariot, so you’d see sharks and killer whales and giant squids all frolicking together, gurgling, ‘Hooray, Poseidon is in the house!’ or whatever.
But sometimes the sea got angry, and Poseidon was the same way. When that happened, he was a totally different dude.
"If you like horror shows, bloodbaths, lying, stealing, backstabbing and cannibalism, then read on..."
Who could tell the true stories of the gods and goddesses of Olympus better than modern-day demigod Percy Jackson?
In this action-packed tour of Greek mythology, Percy gives his hilarious personal views on the feuds, fights and love affairs of the Olympians.
Want to know how Zeus came to be top god? How many times Kronos ate one of his own kids? How Athena literally burst out of another god's head?
It's all here in black and white.
Rick Riordan is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, the Kane Chronicles, and the Heroes of Olympus. He is also the author of the multi-award-winning Tres Navarre mystery series for adults.
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